All The Time To Share
by AyWolfNation
Summary: Six years is a long time, many different things could happen in that length of time. Clarke Griffin is stuck on the outside, while everyone else is either underground or on the Ark. Octavia is the leader of the undergrounders, what happens when new relationships are made, and old ones come walking back into your life after several years? First 100 Fanfic. Hope yall enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first 100 fanfic, and it honestly has been on my mind since the season 4 finale. I cannot wait till it returns.**

 **Anyway, this is my take of how things play our between Clarke and Niylah (Who BTW I ship harcore) and being away from each other for six years.**

 **A Lot of angst and drama, but also and equal share in love.**

 **The title comes from a song that I think fits this story line, you all should give it a listen.**

 **Time To Share by Gemini**

 **I hope you all enjoy, let me know what you all think of the start.**

Six years and seven days after the nuclear meltdowns. Clarke has been relentless in reconnecting with her friends and family. Being one of the only few to survive the destruction, made for some very lonely years. The earth is beautiful. Everything that was once man made was now covered in lush vegetation, evolution had reset and cycled again with organisms that now populated the planet, old and new.

Clarke had been hoping to make some kind of contact with Bellamy and the gang, but was returned with silence each day. Part of her worried that they never even made it onto the ship, or that the ship itself was uninhabitable, but another part of her kept telling her they were alive and fine, just had a minor problem with their comms.

She also made several trips back to polis, digging out a little by little each and every day. Unfortunately the commanders room didn't hold up against the raging nuclear storm. Luckily Clarke was able to keep the Rover running, and has been using it to pull the heavy debris.

Six years and eight days later, today would be the day the last beam of steel would be removed from the shelter door. Clarke prays she'll be able to make contact, let alone finally see the woman that has been haunting her dreams since this whole thing started.

Niylah. She prayed Niylah was well, she owed everything to Octavia for claiming her a spot. Ever since Lexa, Niylah was the bandage to her broken heart. Slowly mending it day after day until Clarke was able to love again. It took a long time, but Niylah was patient with Clarke. It's like she knew Clarke better than she knew herself. Just the thought of the blonde put a smile on the nightblood's face.

"Niylah." Clarke whispered into the cool air. The sun was rising, bringing a new day. Grabbing the radio along with her pack, Clarke set out to make yet another call to the Ark before heading to Polis.

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"Octavia, we are down to the last resources, and we are no where near getting the bunker door open. The farmers, and scientists are stretching the remaining algae we have, but they believe that'll only last six months tops. The people are beginning to panic. What is our plan?" Indra questioned, standing before their leader. Octavia stood outside the overseers door, staring down at her trusted advisors. This question was being asked quite often, and it was beginning to overwhelm the brunette.

"My answer is the same as the last time you asked this. Continue digging under the bunker door, we will have to hit an area without debris at some point, and keep rationing the food. Everyone works for their rations, is that clear? Myself included. Now begin the days routine." She finished, her gaze never faltering. As the group began to exit the room, Octavia called out to Indra, "Send Niylah in please."

A few moments later, there was a soft knock. "Come in." Octavia calls out. Niylah poked her head in, "You wanted to see me?" she questioned, stepping into the room as the door shut behind her, stopping in front of the desk.

The brunette smiled as she stood, "Ever since I left you sleeping." She husked making slow steps around, stopping only when she stood in front of the blonde. "I hate it when I have to tend to my leadership duties, and leave your side." She continued, pressing the blonde against the desk.

"Everyone looks up to you, Octavia. Their isn't another soul in this underground bunker that could do what you do, handle what you handle." The blonde began, running the tip of her finger down the brunettes leather blouse. Shivering at Niylah's touch, Octavia teetered forward, "No one could handle you, the way I handle you." She whispered into the blonde's ears, yanking her forward by the hem of her pants. It was now Niylah's turn to shiver as Octavia began a slow assault against her neck, earning a low moan from the blonde.

"O, I-I need to get to work, and you know earn my keep." She groaned, bracing herself against the desk as Octavia's hands began exploring. "You can earn your keep right here, right now." She husked, ripping the other woman's shirt open, exposing nothing but bare skin. Octavia's eyes grew wide at the sight, forcing the blonde to blush. It amazed her how much of a reaction she always got from the brunette every time they were together.

"Now I don't think that's very fair to the rest." Niylah teased, pulling her shirt closed as she shoved the brunette back receiving a pout from the woman.

"Would it make you feel better if I gave everyone this same deal?"

The blonde's mouth went wide at the brunettes question. Octavia only smirked as she took quick steps forward, "That's what I thought, now shut up and let me take care of you." She growled, lifting the blonde onto the desk. The two caught each other in a heated, but passionate kiss.

Octavia's hands working fast against the leather restraints on the blonde. "I-I think we may have a problem." Niylah husked, becoming lost in the all the sensations.

"Yeah?" O questioned, slipping the blonde's pants down, "We can fix that later." She stated, reaching in between the blonde's thighs immediately feeling the slick welcoming. A low moan escaped the blonde's lips as the brunette teased her opening. Niylah spread her legs further apart as she grabbed the brunette by the waist, pulling her in close.

As the blonde pulled the brunette closer, Octavia's fingers slipped deep into her core earning an audible gasp and cry from the blonde. "Fuck, I love the sound of your voice." Octavia whimpered, shaking at the sounds.

Just then a knock rasped against the door, startling the two. "What?!" Octavia quickly yelled, covering the blonde's mouth.

"It's Indra, one of the diggers said they could hear movement above the bunker door."

Both women caught each other's eyes. This would have to be continued later. Giving the blonde an apologetic look, she gently pulled out of the blonde who had to fight to stifle a moan. "I'll be right out." The brunette yelled back, before returning her gaze to hazel green eyes. "To be continued?"

The blonde could only nod her head, as she fought to pull herself back together.

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"Come on, come on Rove. You can do it girl, this is the last barrier between us and hopefully civilization." Clarke called out, patting the rover on the dash. 'And Niylah.' She thought. Giving the beam one last tug as it slid off the door completely. "Yes. Yes!" Clarke screamed, clapping her hands as she quickly got out of the rover, sliding over to the bunker door.

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Octavia left the room first, quickly following Indra and her men up the ramp to the bunker entrance. Niylah waited a while to insure she hopefully wouldn't be seen. Indra knew of the two's affair, but neither wanted to go public with it, even after three years of sneaking around.

As Octavia and the others made it into the entry way they immediately heard what sounded like knocking. "Oh my god." O whispered in disbelief, who could of survived out there? Could it be her brother and the others? She thought as she ordered her men to unlatch the door, while she and Indra ready their blades just incase.

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Clarke began tapping against the bunker door with the butt of her pistol, listening for any movement inside. "Come on, come on. Please, someone be there." She spoke, tapping harder with each hit.

The sound of the door unlatching caught her off guard as she quickly backed away. She too wasn't sure who would be waiting on the other side of the door.

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With the door swung wide open everyone stared waiting for the ball to drop, finally Octavia spoke. "Announce yourself." She ordered, unsheathing her blade.

A quiet gasp could be heard, "Octavia?" the voice asked. It was familiar.

"Clarke?"

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Niylah was walking out of the office as Octavia and the others were coming back down the ramp. "We must gather a search party, and immediately survey our surroundings. Now that the door is open, everyone will want to go back to how it was. We will need to hold control until we know fully what its like out there. Clarke will be able to help us with that, but for now I want this kept under wraps. Understood?" Octavia finished, as she came to a stop in front of a pale looking blonde.

"Niylah? Are you alright?" she asked, but Niylah continued to look as if she had seen a ghost.

"Niylah." It was a whisper, but Octavia knew who's voice it belonged to. Clarke pushed through the group stopping inches from the blonde.

"Clarke?" Niylah stated more than asked. She couldn't believe who was standing right in front of her.

"I'm so glad you're okay, I've been worried sick about you all these years." Clarke began, pulling the blonde into an embrace. Niylah immediately froze, unsure how to respond. "You were in my dreams every night, keeping me going. I needed to find you, and I am so glad you are here, alive and well." She whispered, pulling the blonde tighter as she nuzzled her face into the blonde's neck.

The sudden sensation seemed to snap Niylah out of her trance as she held the blonde just a little bit tighter. "I thought you were…" she began, tears brimming her eyes.

"It was the nightblood, it kept me alive. God I'm so happy to see you." Clarke beamed, cupping the blonde's cheeks. Clarke just wanted to look at the woman, rememorize every feature. Her dreams had been well at keeping her spot on when it came to the blonde, but still held nothing against the woman literally standing in front of her. "I've missed you so much." She assured, pulling the blonde back into the embrace. Niylah was still trying to process everything as her eyes met Octavia's, guilt and reality set in.

Indra could see the hurt in her leaders eyes, but now was not the time to sulk. The door now open was very crucial, and time could not be wasted on love affairs. "O, we need to start planning right away." She said, gathering her leaders attention.

"You're right, gather our best explorers and assemble and meeting right away." She ordered, as she continued down the ram, passing by the two women. Just as she was about to enter the office Clarke called out, "O, thank you for keeping her safe." Niylah turned to meet the brunette's eyes.

Octavia simply nodded and entered the room.

"So, what have I missed?" Clarke spoke, grabbing the blonde by the waist. Niylah gave her, her best smile she could muster at the moment, before taking Clarke's hand. "Come on, I'm sure your mother would love to see you."

Octavia sat in her chair, Clarke was back. Niylah was Clarke's first. How was she to handle these feelings now that she was back? Did Niylah feel the same? In the midst of her thoughts, her heart was hurting.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Niylah wait, as much as I know my mom would love to know I am alive, I know that the reunion will be a long one, and truthfully I want to spend time with you at the moment. I've missed you so much." Clarke spoke, grabbing the blonde by the waist. Niylah was overwhelmed with the scent that was Clarke Griffin, memories flooding her mind. "Okay." She whispered, nuzzling into Clarke. "Let's at least go to my quarters." She finished, Clarke nodding in response.

As soon as they entered the room, Clarke immediately saw all the drawings she had done, even the one of Lexa. "You kept these?" she asked, running her fingers across the paper.

"They helped me through the first couple of years. They were the only thing I had of yours." She spoke in a low tone, meeting Clarkes eyes.

In an instance Clarke surged forward capturing the blonde's lips and she pressed her against the wall. It took a moment for Niylah to respond, but soon she was returning the kiss with such fervor, helplessly clenching on to Clarke as if she were a ghost. Biting her lip, Clarke let out a low moan. Frantically sliding her hands along the blonde's body, hitting heated skin as her thumbs looped into the hem of Niylah's pants. The sensation startled the blonde as she quickly stopped Clarke. "Clarke, slow down." She husked, pressing against the blonde.

Clarke quickly pulled away, looking into the blonde's eyes. "What's wrong?"

Still panting, Niylah shook her head, "Nothing, nothing. I promise. It's just.. It's been over six years since I last saw you, felt you, or even smelled you. Its all.. It's all so overwhelming."

Clarke searched the blonde's eyes, but only saw serenity. "I know what you mean." She started, leaning her head against the blonde's, "I counted down the days until I would see you again. I know that sounds cliché, but its true. You were the one thing that kept me going out there. I wasn't lying when I said I dreamt of you every night." Niylah smiled at the blonde's admittance. "But you are right, this is a lot all at once. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have jumped you like that. I guess, my body just reacted. We'll take this slow again, do this right." Clarke finished looking deep into the blonde's eyes. She saw a hint of uncertainty. "That is if you still want me."

Niylah's eyes shot up at Clarke's words, "Of course I still want you, Clarke. It's just.."

"I know, its been several years. Six to be exact. Six. Lonely. Years." She stopped, looking up into Niylah's eyes as she said the last part. Niylah quickly looked away. Clarke's heart broke a little. "I wouldn't of wanted you to wait forever. I understand you have needs, and if you want to continue to pursue whatever it is with this person, than I wont stand in your way. You're happiness is my biggest concern."

Niylah couldn't help the tears that began to fall. "Hey, hey. It's okay. We'll figure this out." Clarke assured her as she pulled her into an embrace, holding her tight. The blonde continued to sob as Clarke held her close, rocking their bodies.

"It's Octavia, Clarke." Niylah finally whispered against her neck.

Clarke went stiff.


	2. Chapter 2

"Clarke? Say something, please." Niylah pried, watching the many emotions run across her face.

Sadness and anger, but most of all understanding.

"I should go see my mother." Were her only words as she backed away from the blonde towards the door. "I." she began, but quickly closed her mouth and left.

Niylah stood there unsure of her feelings. Clarke was back, and she may have just pushed her away. Broken her, but what about Octavia. This wasn't fair to her either. Did she care for the brunette as much as she cared for Clarke?

It had been so long since she had felt another woman before Octavia came into her life. She remembers that night so well still, she had been enjoying a few drinks at the bar late one evening, it was quiet at the bar. Niylah had enjoyed the quiet time to herself. She spent most nights thinking of Clarke, hoping she was okay, but Niylah was becoming lonely. Taking care of herself wasn't cutting it anymore. That's when Octavia came barging into the bar. She looked frustrated, probably another heated meeting with her advisors. Niylah was shocked to see that Indra wasn't with her. It seemed Octavia could never get a moment to herself now that everyone looked up to her as their leader.

 _ **Stepping through the doors, Octavia immediately spotted the blonde as their eyes met. Niylah gave her a polite smile before turned back to tend to her drink. "May I sit here?" The brunette asked, almost startling the blonde. "Of, course." She smiled.**_

 _ **The two spent a good portion of the evening laughing and venting. Clarke was brought up couple times. Octavia asked if she missed her, and promised once they had gotten out of the bunker, Clarke would be the first they searched for.**_

 _ **"Thank you for that, but I understand that there will be other priorities. It's ok, Octavia." She smiled, placing her hand on the brunettes knee. The sudden sensation sent chills through the brunette as she inhaled sharply. Niylah was taken back a bit, that was not her intention. The two just stared at one another until Niylah politely excused herself. Octavia just nodded as the blonde left the room.**_

 _ **Octavia sat there for a moment, exploring the meaning of the chills she just received before downing her glass, and leaving as well.**_

 _ **Moments later, Niylah heard a soft knock on her door. Unsure who it could be at this hour she quickly tied the robe around her tighter as she opened the door. There stood the brunette, leaning against the door frame. "Hi." She started before standing straight, running a hand through her hair, "I just… You left quickly and I wanted to make sure you were okay." O finished, meeting the blonde's eyes.**_

 _ **"I'm fine, thank you for checking." Niylah simply replied, searching the brunette for further meaning of this visit.**_

 _ **"Good, good."**_

 _ **"Mhm." Niylah hummed, staring at the brunette fidgeting before her. "Are you okay?" she questioned. Octavia released a sigh to the blondes questions. "No." is all she says as she steps into the blondes room, capturing her in a heated kiss. Niylah gasped at the sudden invasion, but soon found herself melting into the kiss as she grabbed the brunette's waist pulling her close. Both woman gasped at the tension. Niylah began to backing further into the room, pulling the brunette with her, just as the back of her legs hit the bed, the blonde pushed the brunette away. "What are we doing?" she breathed out in between pants. The brunette just stared, panting equally as hard. "I don't know." And with that answer, the two continued their ministrations.**_

A knock startled the blonde from her thoughts. There standing in the door was Indra. "I'm sorry to startle you, I said your name a couple times, but you didn't respond. Octavia would like to have a word with you." Niylah just nodded.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Knock knock." Clarke announced as she entered the medical wing. Abbie was lost in reading lab results, that she didn't look up at first. "Yes? What can I help you with?" she finished meeting eyes with her daughters. "Clarke." She spoke, dropping the papers in her hand.

"Hey mom." The blonde smiled.

Abbie slowly stood from her chair, "Is this real? Are you really here right here?"

"It's me, alive and well. I cleared the bunker door. I've missed you so much." Clarke spoke, walking towards her mom, pulling her into an embrace. Abbie couldn't help the sobs that escaped as she hugged her daughter that much tighter. "I thought you were dead."

"I've been getting that a lot." Clarke joked, pulling back from her mom. "The nightblood serum worked. That's what kept me alive."

"It did, you look amazing. God, I'm so happy to see you." Abbie spoke, pulling the blonde into another embrace.

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Niylah sat outside of Octavia's door for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts before entering. She wasn't sure how this conversation was going to go. Releasing a small sigh, she rasped her knuckles against the door. "Come in."

As she pushed the door open, Octavia had her back to her, looking through a folder. Niylah wasn't sure if she should say something or not. She would let O take the lead. "How is Clarke getting settled?" Octavia finally asked, closing the folder.

"I assume well, she should be with her mother right now."

Octavia turned to face the blonde, "That's good. Abbie would have been pleased to see her." Niylah just nodded. "Are you pleased to see her?"

There it was, the million dollar question. "I happy to know she's alive and well." Which was the truth, there was no greater relief than seeing the blonde good and well. Octavia smiled as she moved around the desk, stopping in front of the blonde. "And where does this leave us?" she questioned, reaching for the blonde's hand pulling her close.

"I don't know. She knows, I told her about us." Niylah started, "and she seemed to understand."

Octavia smiled, "Well that's good.. That she understands, but are you okay? I mean I know we aren't exclusive, and you and Clarke had something way before you and I.." she paused, running her thumb across the blondes hand, "but I would understand to if you wanted to go back to her. Don't get me wrong it'll hurt a lot, but I would understand, and respect it." She finished, daring a look at the blonde who seemed torn, and filled with every emotion.

"Thank you, but I don't know how I feel right now. Seeing her again after all these years is surreal, and part of me still cares for her." Octavia quickly looked away, "but, what we have right now is so fresh, and real. I care for you just as much, but still all of this is overwhelming. I don't know… I don't know what I want." She finished, wiping her eyes.

Octavia met hers, and quickly began to brush the blondes tears away. "Hey, it's ok. I understand. You need to take all the time you need to figure this out, I'll still be here no matter what." She finished, pressing a soft kiss to the blondes lips before pulling away. "Now, well need a hunter along with the exploration. Will you come?"

"Of course, I would love the chance to see the world as it is now." Niylah agreed, smiling at the brunette.

"Good, we leave in fifteen. Go grab your gear and meet us by the bunker door." Niylah went to leave as Octavia spoke, "Niy, I meant it when I said I will still be here for you."

"I know." Niylah smiled before opening the door, leaving behind a sad and worried brunette.

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The exploration group gathered in the main room. Several guards, and scouts all geared for the trip. Abbi and Jackson packed with field equipment. Niylah joined the group wit her bow and satchel, immediately meeting Octavia's eyes as she entered the room. The two smiled at one another. As O began explaining the plan the doors swung open and Clarke entered the room. Bearing only what she had on her when she first entered the bunker.

Octavia eyed the woman, "Clarke you should be resting don't you think?"

Clarke met her eyes scoffing at her request, "You guys wont last out there without me with you. Earth isn't how it used to be. New creatures roam the earth now, far more dangerous than before. I know of several spots we should check out for farming, and repopulating." She finished, looking around the room. Stopping when she met Niylah's eyes, her bad girl façade immediately dropping at the sight of the blonde. She quickly looked away. She didn't know Niylah would be coming on this adventure too.

"Of course." Is all Octavia said as she continued with the plans

Finally heading out, the guards cleared the bunker first, scanning the area before everyone else came up. It was well into mid afternoon by now. Everyone was taking in the fresh air, along with the sun hitting their faces. It had been so long, Clarke was the last to climb out as she stood and watched everyone taking in the environment. "Just wait until you see the rest." She spoke as she brushed past the blonde.

Niylah had her eyes closed taking in the feelings around her when she heard Clarke speak, opening her eyes she feels the blonde intentionally brush past. She gets a quick whiff of her scent, making the blonde shiver, as more memories flood her mind.

"Clarke will lead the group, Doctors I want you and Niylah in the middle of the group at all times. Let's go." Octavia ordered as everyone began to move out.

Half way into the march, Clarke met Octavia by her side. Indra noticed the blonde's presence, but was shooed away by the brunette. She knew Clarke wanted to talk to her.

"How long after I was gone did it start?" Clarke finally spoke keeping her eyes forward. Octavia studied the blonde for a moment. "She missed you Clarke, like crazy. There were days she wept for you, she was a complete mess after those doors closed."

Clarkes heart tightened a little, "That doesn't answer my question." She states coldly.

"It was about three years after."

Clarke glanced at the brunette for a moment before turning back to what was ahead of them, "You break her heart, I'll break you." Clarke warned.

Octavia stopped, signaling for the rest of the group to carry on ahead. Niylah eyeing the two as she walked by, as soon as the group was far enough away Octavia stepped forward. "Don't you dare come into my turf and threaten me, I've done nothing but show her love and affection. Everything she needed. She was lonely Clarke, and I. I just developed feelings somewhere along the way. I would never hurt her, Clarke and you know that." She finished, standing inches from the blondes face.

"Why?! Why out of all the thousands of people down there did you have to pick her?" Clarke questioned, clinching her fists.

Scoffing Octavia stepped away, "Seriously, Clarke? You think I just went after her because you were gone? That's not how it works, I'm sorry. I genuinely fell for her, Clarke. So get over yourself." The brunette finished, huffing with anger.

"Well, I feel the same way, she was the only thing that got me through this world for the last six years." She spoke, gesturing to the new world around them, "I never once gave up on seeing her again. Ever since Lexa I wasn't sure I could love someone again, and there Niylah was, but now yet again they've been taken from me." Clarke threw her hands in the air.

"She's not yours to claim, Griffin! And for your information, she and I have decided to cut things off because of you! She needs to figure this out on her own, for herself." O spoke, poking the blonde in the chest.

Clarke just stared at the brunette for a moment, "You're right. I'm sorry, O. I haven't had much time to process this. I was so happy to see her and everyone else, and then she dropped that bomb on me. I just. I don't know, acted out of anger. I'm sorry."

Octavia studied the blonde for a moment before pulling her into a hug. "I understand, its ok. Niylah is a smart woman. She's confused to hell, but she will figure out what she truly wants, and if that's you Clarke, then I will respect it."

Clarke weighed all of her thoughts before nodding. "We need to keep moving if we want to be back before nightfall."

Joining the group, Clarke met Niylah's eyes, she looked worried for the blonde, and sad. Clarke gave her a genuine smile letting her know everything was fine before leading the group further out.

Clarke would fight day and night for the blonde, there was no doubt about that. She just hoped Niylah felt as strong for her still.

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Clarke halted, signaling the same for everyone else, as she crouched down.

"What is it?' Octavia whispered, meeting the blonde by her side.

"It sounds like s Scrapper."

"A what?"

"They dig deep into the ground, bringing up minerals and plantations, but they are very aggressive if disturbed. Tell everyone we need to back up and look for another way around." Just as she said that, she turned back to see another Scrapper at the end of the group staring at the scouts. "Shit." She whispered.

"Clarke, what do we do." Octavia demanded, holding her blade's handle.

"I don't think it knows what its looking at is a threat or not. We need to stay still." She spoke, quickly looking for Niylah, she was off to the side by her mother and Jackson. "Tell them to pass it along that we need to stay still."

Just then a loud screech came from deeper in the forest, startling the scrappers as they took off in the opposite direction, "Bladetooth.." Clarke whispered as foot steps came closer. "O, we need to get everyone back to the bunker, now."

Octavia nodded, just as she was about to give the order, the monster busted out of the trees stopping as it saw the group.

"EVERYONE RUN!" Clarke shouted as everyone scattered, the beast seemed confused on who to chase until its eyes fell onto a certain blonde. "Niylah." Clarke whispered as she took of towards the girl, grabbing her arm as they took off in an opposite direction than the rest, the beast fast on their trail.

"This way." Clarke yelled as she quickly shot in another direction dipping in between trees and vines, not chancing a glance behind in case of it slowing her down. "Just over this hill there's a small shelter, I've hid there before, we should be safe in there."

Gaining a bit of ground on the Bladetooth they reached the shelter, Clarke quickly throwing the door open as she followed the blonde inside, quickly shutting the door and locking it. The shelter was pitch black, but Clark had stashed a few matches and a lantern incase of an emergency.

"Clarke? I can't see, where are you?" Niylah cried out, shaking from the run. She could heard the blonde shuffling around, but couldn't feel her. Finally Clarke lit the lantern, filling the small room with light. Clarke quickly looked at the blonde she was shaking. Removing her jacket, she quickly walked over to the blonde, "Here." She spoke, placing the leather over the woman. "We'll be safe here until it leaves."

"How will we know if its gone? And what about the others?" Niylah questioned, worried for her people.

"They were running towards the bunker, and the monster was coming towards us. I think their all okay. Even O." Clarke finished, looking away.

Niylah sighed as she took steps towards the blonde, "Clarke, are you really that upset?"

"I'm not upset, Niylah. I'm happy that you had someone who could take care of you, and love you. I'm just…. Sad is all. It's okay though."

"Clarke look at me." The blonde ordered, forcing blue eyes to meet hers. "I don't know what I want, but I know that my feelings for you are still there, and still strong. O.. She's an amazing woman, but she wasn't you. She could never be you." She finished, placing her hand against Clarkes cheek.

Clarke leaned in to the blonde's hand, breathing in deeply. "I missed you so much." She whispered, placing her hands around the blonde's waist.

"I never stopped missing you, Clarke." Niylah claimed, bringing the blonde closer, breathing in her scent. "God I missed how you smelled, how you felt."

Clarkes heart was pounding the closer the blonde got. "Niylah?" she spoke, grabbing the blondes attention.

"Hmm?" she hummed

"I really, really want to kiss you right now." Clarke admitted, her voice shaky.

"What's stopping you?" and just like that Clarke pulled the blonde flush against her, capturing her lips in her own. Clarke groaned at the taste of the blonde as they both fought for dominance. Clarkes hands were going wild against the other woman. Moving her assault to her neck, Clarke lifted the blonde as she wrapped her legs around her, carrying her to the near by desk. Gently setting her down, Clarke pulled away to discard her top. Niylah inhaled sharply at the sight of the blonde. Clarke smiled at the affect she still had on the other woman.

Grabbing her hands, Clarke placed them on her breasts, sighing at the sensation. Niylah quickly tightened her legs around the blonde pulling her close again as she caught her in a heated kiss. Squeezing her nipples in the process. Clarke was going wild as she fought against the blondes top, quickly pulling it over her head and tossing it into the darkness.

Clark then picked her up again and walked them to the twin sized bed, softly laying her down. Clarke straddled the blonde, fighting with her pants finally breaking the restraint free.

"Fuck." Niylah moaned as Clarke yanked her pants down. Niylah too was filled with such emotions she wasn't sure what to do with her hands, wanting to feel every inch of her.

"God I've missed this, I've missed you so much." Clarke husked, attacking the blondes chest.

Just then Clarke heard stifled cries as she looked up she saw the tears rolling down the blonde's face. "What's wrong?" she asks, stopping everything she was doing as she grabbed the blondes face.

Niylah could only shake her head as she couldn't control her emotions. This was all overwhelming.

"Niylah, breathe. Deep breaths babe, slow deep breaths." Clarkes soothing voice filled her ears.

Finally calming down Niylah placed her hang against the blondes cheek. "Nothing's wrong. It was just overwhelming feeing you touch me again, all the emotions being stirred up." She spoke softly.

Clarke smiled at the blonde as she pressed her head against the blonde. "I know what you mean. Listen, we don't have to do this. If its too soon."

Niylah stared into crystal blue eyes before shaking her head. "No, I want to do this. I need to feel you again. It's been to long."

Clarke smiled at the blondes response, though waiting for the other woman to take the lead now. A few heart beats passed before the blonde leaned up capturing Clarke in a sweet and passionate kiss, edging the blonde back on to their previous flow.

Tomorrow they would return to the bunker, for now the two needed each other more than anything else in the world.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello everyone, I hope you all are enjoying this so far.**

 **Feedback is much appreciated.**

"EVERYONE RUN!"

Octavia heard the blonde yell as frenzied chaos broke out. The beast was menacing, looked similar to a saber tooth from back in the stone age but was more grotesque, and had to be doubled in size.

The creature seemed confused on who to pursue, and to be honest it looked more surprised to see us than we were of it. Octavia searched the crowed, ensuring everyone was counted for. That's when she saw Niylah frozen in fear with the creature staring right at her.

"Niylah." She whispered, taking quick steps towards the blonde. One of the scouts, not paying attention, ran right into the brunette knocking her off balance. Once Octavia regained her sense and returned her focus to the blonde, and could see Clarke grabbing her hand pulling her out further into the woods.

Making a split decision, O began taking quick steps towards the two but was stopped when a hand wrapped around her arm, it was Indra. "Octavia, she will be fine. We must ensure the rest of our people make it back safely."

Octavia looked Indra in the eyes, she was torn. She couldn't stand the thought of Niylah being out there in this whole new world.

"Clarke will protect her, lets go!" Indra spoke again, as if reading her thoughts.

'Clarke' she thought, if anyone knew this place better, it would be her, but still the thought of the beast chasing them unnerved the brunette to no end.

"We have to regroup and go after them." O spoke, quickly looking for the others. Most everyone had already ran back towards the bunker, but a handful. Indra and her scouts. That's all Octavia needed anyway.

"We know nothing of this new earth. We don't even know where they went, or ended up." Indra spoke, clear frustration in her tone.

"We know what direction they went, if Clarke's smart enough she would of found them shelter. We'll look for a cave or anything the same. We can't just leave them out there."

"To be honest, O. You are being naïve, this is our first time in over six years being out of the bunker and we have no idea what is out there. Please see reason and let us come up with a more solid plan. You have to trust that Clarke and Niylah are fine."

Octavia just stared, once again Indra was right. O was losing her ways over a forbidden romance and that was something she could not let happen. She needed to think clearly for her people, but still the thought of Niylah possibly being hurt weighed heavily in the back of her mind.

"Ok." She finally spoke, nodding her head for the group to return to the bunker, but not before turn back to the blondes last whereabouts. The sharp cry of the Bladetooth cut through the trees, sending shivers down her spine.

"May we meet again." She spoke before turning to meet the group.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So.." Clarke began, running the tip of her finger along the blonde's arm. Clarke's head was resting on her elbow with the other woman facing away from her. "Was it just like you remembered?" she teased.

Niylah couldn't help but smirk at the blonde's question. "Mmm.. To be honest, you were a bit rusty."

Clarke's mouth dropped open at the response giving the blonde a playful slap, "I beg to differ, because I'm pretty sure your reactions were telling a different story."

They both laughed as Niylah rolled over, now only inches from Clarke. "I missed you so much." She spoke, placing her hand on Clarke's cheek.

"I missed you too." Clarke choked, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. "We should probably head back to the bunker now, my mom is probably freaking out."

"Oh god, yeah I bet, and Octavia. She's probably raising hell right now." Niylah stated innocently. She met Clarke's eyes and she could see a hint of sadness. "That's just how she's always been I mean. Always looking out for her people."

Clarke just smiled and nodded as she rose from the bed in search of her clothes. "Yeah, that she does. She's a strong leader. Way better than I ever was." She finished, pulling her shirt over her head. Niylah quickly sat up, watching the blonde's movements. "She is a very strong leader, yes, but she doesn't have a heart like you, Clarke." Clarke stopped for a moment taking in the blonde's words before pulling her pants the rest of the way up.

"Here, get dressed. We shouldn't waste anymore time." Clarke spoke, handing the blonde her clothing, she seemed hurt by Clarke's words.

"I don't consider this moment with you a waste of time, is that how you feel?" she spoke, aggressively pulling her shirt on.

"What? No, that's not how I meant that and you know it, Niy. Come on." Clarke assured, halting the blonde's harsh movements. "I would stay here with you forever if we could, but its not realistic. That's all I meant."

Niylah stared deep into the blonde's eyes, and only saw sincerity. She wasn't sure why she wanted to pick a fight with her, maybe reality was still trying to settle in. "I know, I'm sorry."

And with that, both the girls continued to dress, and prepare for the journey back.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After closing the bunker door, Octavia met the group in the main room. All held worried and frightened expressions. Each throwing out their worries and questions her direction as she walked down the ramp.

"Everyone, please stay calm. We never knew what would come with the new world. How could we? There was no way of knowing, but I can tell you that we are resilient, strong, and most of all we are adaptable. We've overcome so much together over the years, let us NOT fall apart now. Just because those doors are open now, doesn't mean what we built ends. Look at Clarke, she survived out there for six years, and with her help, we too will survive for another hundred years to come." The brunette spoke, standing tall with her words. This was what Octavia grew to be, the fierce leader for the undergrounders. A role that she needed to up keep for her people.

"Speaking of Clarke, where is she?" Abbie spoke up after a while.

Octavia met her gaze, "She and Niylah are still out there. The beast was going after Niylah and Clarke stepped in to save her, last we saw they were heading northeast further into the woods. I'm sorry Abbie, that is all we know at the moment."

Indra stepped forward, "We plan to put together a search team before nightfall. Any volunteers would be appreciated. We will leave in the next hour."

"I'll be coming with you." Abbie spoke, gather back her pack, and handing the other equipment off to Jackson.

"Abbie, we really need you here." O spoke, continuing down the ramp.

"You were completely fine with Jackson and I going out there just moments ago. I'm going."

"Yes, that was before we were attacked by a massive feline. I can't risk losing out best doctor, especially in the days to come." The brunette spoke stern in her tone, stopping in front of the doctor.

"I don't think you understand, that is my daughter out there, who by the way I just got back. I wont just stand around, you can't expect that from me."

"Abbie, I'll go and ensure they are both brought back safely." Nathan spoke, placing his hand on her arm for reassurance. Abbie looked at his hand, then to him.

"Please, Abbie. We need all essential personnel to stay. Clarke's smart and resourceful." Octavia spoke gently, grabbing Abbie's hand. Her demeanor seemed to ease, as much as she wanted to be out there with them finding Clarke, she knew they were right. If this world was as dangerous as what they have already seen then it was more than likely she would be needed a lot in the days, even months, to come.

Seeing that the Doctor understood, O turned to Indra and told her to gather anyone that was trained in combat, and ready them within the hour. Before turning to enter her office.

Pressing her back against the door as it shut, releasing a drawn out sigh. "Damn it, Niylah." She huffed, staring at her desk, memories of the last time she and the blonde spent in this room flooded her mind. This was going to be harder than she thought. She craved the blonde's touch and her silky sounds. She didn't want to think about Niylah and Clarke alone for so long, if they were hiding out somewhere.

Shuddering at the thought, Octavia pushed away from the wall to gather a few items. It was then she decided that she would show the blonde how much she meant to her, how good only she could make her feel, how deeply they needed each other.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Pushing the door open, Clarke peaked her head out, taking in their surroundings. It was mostly quiet apart from the birds chirping and the occasional screaks in the far out distance. "Ready?" Clarke questioned, turning back towards the blonde. Niylah simply nodded before following the blonde out of the door, but not before grabbing her by the arm and yanking her back.

Clarke was caught of guard as the other woman pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. "What was that for?" Clarke asked as she licked her lips.

Niylah just shrugged as she pushed past the woman, taking lead. Clarke couldn't contain the silly smile she had as she watched the blonde walk away, taking in the sight.

It had been about twenty minuets into their return when Clarke heard movement up ahead, quickly grabbing the blonde and pushing her against the nearest tree, peaking her head out every so often.

"It sounds like the others, they probably sent out a search party." Niylah whispered.

Clarke shook her head, "Maybe, but we aren't the only people to now walk this earth. There were other nightblood that survived, and I have yet to meet a friendly bunch." She spoke in a low tone. Watching for any movements.

The sounds of occasional chatter could be heard as footsteps became louder. Clarke unsheathed her blade, waiting for the right time to pounce, motioning to the blonde to stay quiet.

A moment later a figure unknowingly stepped in sight as Clarke tackled the figure to the ground, raising her arm to strike she quickly realized who the victim was.

"Nathan?" she squeaked, releasing her hold.

"Damn, Clarke. You could of killed me." He spoke, raising back to his feet, brushing off debris.

"Well maybe you should be a little more quieter next time. Why are you here?"

He seemed confused by the question, "To rescue you two of course. Why else would we be out here right now?"

"Right." Clarke spoke, feeling foolish for asking such a silly question. Turning back Niylah had already stepped out from behind the tree and was by Clarke's side. "Where are the rest?" she asked, looking into the trees.

"We spread out into a half mile radius, I'll radio in and let everyone know you guys are safe." And with that he lifted his radio, informing the rest of his findings. After receiving confirmation, they began to head to the rallying point.

As they reached the group, Octavia spotted the three and quickly gathered to her feet and began their direction, immediately meeting Niylah's eyes. The blonde smiled as they got closer. Clarke was aware of the exchange, feeling a bit of jealousy and protectiveness fill her blood.

"I'm so happy you guys are alright." Octavia spoke, never taking her eyes off the blonde. Clarke cleared her throat, "Yeah, I remembered this shelter out this direction, so we took cover there in the mean time."

That got the brunette's attention, "Oh, good. Was their anything useful in this shelter that we may be able to take back? Food or water?" O asked, shifting uncomfortably.

"Unfortunately there isn't much left. A lantern and a few matches, some old magazines, tin dishes. Basic stuff." Octavia nodded her head as she listened. "Oh, and a bed. Surprisingly still very comfy for how long its been there."

Octavia's heart began to hammer, the thought of both of them in bed together made her sick. "Well, I guess it's a good thing you two didn't have to spend the night then."

"Sure." Is all Clarke said as she brushed past the brunette in way of the rest of the group. Niylah and Octavia just stared at each other. O was trying to read the blondes expressions, but couldn't quite get a read. "We should be getting back, the sun is setting and we still have another fifteen minute walk back." O finally spoke, turning back towards the group. "Where is Klein?"

Everyone glanced around, just then a cry for help came across the radio. "Klein? Klein, where are you?" Nathan hurriedly replied.

"Close to Polis, I couldn't find you guys, so I decided to retrace my tracks but I'm being pinned down by some crazy natives. I thought we were the only humans alive!" he replied, a whisper in his tone.

"How far away from Polis are you?" Octavia questioned glaring at Clarke.

"Maybe fifty feet. I don't think they know I'm here, but they are scouting the town's ruins."

"Shit." O mumbled, turning her gaze to Indra's. "He can't go back, not right now." Indra nodded at her words.

"Are you crazy? He needs to get inside as soon as he can!" Nathan spoke up, capturing the brunettes attention.

"It's to risky, if they follow him back to our bunker that will be bad news for all of us, come on Nathan you're smarter than that." O barked, stepping in front of the man.

"Guys? What do I do? They have some kind of like… Guard dogs with them. What if they sniff me out? Please, what should I do?" Klein begged, clearly distraught.

"Try and sneak arou-" Nathan began before Clarke knocked the radio from his hand.

"What was that? I didn't get that last part."

"I didn't spend the last six years digging you guys out, just to have the other savages slaughter you all." Clarke spat, pushing against his chest.

"Who are these people, Clarke ? How did they survive?" Indra asked, pressing Clarke away from the boy.

"The same way I survived."

"Nightblood." Indra spoke into the cool air. Clarke nodded.

"Guys? I think they heard the radio cut off, they are coming towards me, what do I do? Please."

Grabbing the radio Clarke spoke, "Klein is it?"

"Yeah?"

"Klein I need you to listen, those people are not good people"

"Well no shit, I've kind of figured that out."

"Then you understand that they cannot find that entrance to the bunker…. You, cannot go back to the bunker, Klein. Do you understand?"

There was a long pause before the static came back across the radio, "I.. I do." Another pause. "So what am I supposed to do? They are searching for me?"

Clarke looked at Octavia, then Indra, before finally landing on Niylah. "I.. Listen, Klein…. You cannot return to the bunker. I'm sorry, but for the safety of everyone else, we can't risk you leading them right to our home. Do. You. Understand?" Clarke spoke, watching Niylah's features turn from concern to anger.

"I.. Are you saying I need to sacrifice myself?"

"If it comes to that, If you can shake them and make it back to the bunker with out them trailing than great, but we absolutely cannot risk it." Once again, Clarke was making the heavy decisions not even one day back with her people.

"But it's almost night out, where should I go? I have nothing but my gun and this radio."

Octavia and Indra looked at Clarke like she was doing that right thing, they two agreed with her.

"There is cave not to far from Polis, I've stayed there many times. It's about a mile east. Make it there and we will come searching for you in the morning."

"O.. Okay." And with that the radio went silent. Clarke glanced around, everyone had mixed emotions about her decision, but it was Niylah's that broke her heart. "Niy" she began, as the blonde brushed past.

"Save it."

"Niylah, please." She begged, grabbing the blonde by the arm, Niylah quickly shot around getting in the blonde's face. "Still the same old Clarke, so easy for you to send someone to their death."

"Hey, that's not fair." Octavia spoke, stepping next to Clarke. Niylah glanced between the two before marching off.

"Fuck." Slipped from their mouths at the same time.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey Guys. I'm back! I know its been so so long and I apologize for that. I've had a rough couple of years. I fell into a pretty low state for a long time, and never had the motivation to write. Just didn't feel worthy of it, but I am doing so much better with a renewed spirit to write. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I've changed the direction of the story a bit. I feel it gives it a bit more of a dramatic edge to it. Well see how it goes, and I am sorry for how Clarke is being portrayed in this chapter. Jealousy, right? Lol Anywho, I don't know how fast updates will come, but I will be continuing this story again. I'm so glad to be back! Thanks for sticking with it!**

"Niylah will you just wait up a second, please?" Clarke shouted as the group entered the bunker. The blonde was briskly walking through the crowd, clearly uninterested in what the other woman had the say. "Please Niy, let me ex-"

"Clarke, let her go. She needs time." Octavia said, grabbing the blonde by the arm, "and we need to talk about those other Night bloods." She finished nodding towards the Commander's office. Clarke glanced at Octavia's hand before meeting her gaze, which to Clarke's surprise held a hint of sympathy.

Releasing a frustrated breath, she nodded in agreement but not before looking in the direction Niylah had disappeared to. She knew Octavia was right, Niylah needed time right now, but how much? Would she be upset with Clarke forever? Surely not, right?

Feeling that the blonde was in agreement, Octavia turned to head towards her office, Clarke and her advisors in tow. "Now tell me, how many of these Night bloods have you seen?" Octavia starts off, settling into her chair.

Clarke lets out a soft sigh, grabbing the bridge of her nose trying to think. "I've only ever followed two different groups back to separate settlements. They're small, not very evolved but man are they ruthless and aggressive if they see you. It's like they've lost all since of moral and human nature. I've even seen them eat their own."

Octavia briefly shuts her eyes at those last few words, 'A strong leader does what they feel is the right thing for their people, and you, Okteivia are the strong leader we have and need right now. You said it yourself, this would only be until Monty can get the algae farms going again.' Niylah's words repeated in her head, as memories of all the people who choose to make the ultimate sacrifice filled her heart with sorrow again. She fought so hard, and cried so many nights trying to reason with herself that it WAS, what was best for her people. Having Niylah by her side made it easier, sure, but Niylah could never take away the guilt she felt. It was her decision, it had to fall into her hands.

"O?" The sound of Clarkes voice breaks her thoughts, "You alright?"

Clearing her throat, she straightens her posture, "Of course, now tell me about these dogs Klein mentioned. Are they like the creatures we ran into out in the woods?"

"Not really, they are more just mutated hounds that they somehow tamed. They are quick on open terrane, but the woods and brush seem to deter and slow them a bit. They pack a massive blow when they tackle you thou-"

"You've been attacked by one?" Nathan asks, amazed by the fact this woman was still somehow alive.

"Once, yes. I'm not going to lie though; I almost didn't make it out alive. The hound bit me in the thigh just missing my artery by a millimeter. I managed to snap its neck once I had pried it from my flesh." She paused for a moment, "but you have guns, those things won't stand a chance against bullets. It's a regular mutt if you take away the melted flesh and raging rabies."

Octavia mindfully nodded as she took all the information in, "What about the Bladetooth? Does it have any weaknesses?"

Clarke sighed again, "I can't really help much with this one, other than to run like hell if one sees you. They are typically curious creatures, kind of like the feline's we used to read about back on the Ark, but much more aggressive. I never stuck around when I saw a Bladetooth."

"For good reason I'm sure. You are very lucky to be alive, Clarke, and very brave. If anyone could have survived out there for six years, it's most definitely you." Octavia said, standing from her chair to approach Clarke. Once in front of her, she extended her hand.

Clarke felt very confused by the sudden gesture and words from the brunette, but took her hand regardless. She did however feel a bit of pride swell up from somewhere deep inside, it really had been so long since she had any type of human communication, and she forgot how nice it was to have these exchanges, no matter who the other party was. She respected Octavia, don't get her wrong. Octavia did keep all these people alive all these years. Niylah, her mother, Monty, Harper, Nathan, but she still couldn't shake the bit of jealously she felt in her presence. She held power, and she was by anyone's standards a beautiful woman. She was a Blake, their genes run with magnetism and charisma. How could Niylah not fall for this woman. She needed someone who could and would protect her, cherish her… love her. Perhaps that person is O.

Clarke shivered at the thought, her heart breaking a little. She didn't want that, but she loved Niy and if she chooses Octavia then she will respect that, and she will find comfort knowing that she will be in good hands.

Octavia seems to since the uneasiness in Clarkes eyes and releases their grasp, turning to the group she dismisses everyone except Indra, as soon as everyone is out of the room she turns to the grounder, "Will you request Niylah's presence, I need to speak with her."

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Niylah stood outside the Commanders door for several minuets trying to gather herself. She wasn't sure why she was being summoned, but she knew she sure as hell wasn't ready for whatever conversation was about to come. Releasing the breath she was holding, she raised her arm and knocked twice. After a moment she could hear a faint 'Come in' from the other side.

Here we go, she thought as she pushed the door open.

"Thank you for coming, Niylah." Octavia said as the blonde closed the door. She turned to face Octavia, but didn't reply.

"I just want to talk. Will you come sit?" She gestured to the chair across from her, but Niylah didn't move. "I'm fine here. What is it you want to talk about?" she inquired.

"Clarke."

Of course, Niylah thought sending a frustrated glance to the ceiling. "I figured as much, now get to the point."

Octavia just stared at the blonde for a moment. Right through her façade she built. Niylah didn't do this often, only when she felt the pressure and weight of all her emotions. In fact, she built this same façade up in the beginning of their relationship… or affair if you will. It took Octavia several months to tear it down, but that's not going to happen this time. Octavia knows her to well now, "You remember when all the algae died?"

Niylah was caught off guard by the question as she spun to look at the brunette, "What? What does that have to do with Clarke?"

Octavia smiled, the blondes wall crumbling a little. "That was the hardest decision I ever had to make, but I did it for our people. Do you remember telling me that?"

"Y-Yes, and you did do what was best for our people. We would have starved otherwise." Becoming frustrated Niylah marched forward, slamming her hands on the desk. "Where are you getting at with this?"

"And you don't think Clarke made a decision that was best for our people? Even being one day back with us?" Octavia stood up and walked around the table, still keeping distance between them. She just wanted to be able to stop her if she tried to leave, or hold her if she cried, or be her punching bag. Whatever she needed.

Niylah stood there, her breathing increased by the second. Klein was like a brother to her, but he was one person, and in reality, he to made a sacrifice for our people. Octavia was right, fuck is she always right.

"Not to mention he is more than likely still alive. Clarke knows the outside well and sent him to a safe place. We just have to hope he was able to find it. We will go after him in the morning Niy, but I need you to do something for me." Octavia spoke, carefully grabbing the blondes chin to have her look at her. Niylah didn't resist. "Forgive her."

At that moment, her façade crumbled completely and she too crumbled, falling into a sobbing mess but not before Octavia caught her. Whispering 'shhs' and 'its oks.'

They sat there like that for an hour, Niylah running through every emotion she felt, Octavia holding her was comforting and welcoming, but she wished Clarke was there too. She was still struggling with how she felt, and for who. Yes, her and Clarke made love earlier, but part of her still wants and aches for Octavia. "O?"

"Mhm?" she hummed, still cradling the blonde.

Niylah turned her head to see her face, her eyes, those beautiful green eyes. "I don't know what to do. I… I don't know if I can choose." Hearing those words Octavia's heart dropped, she couldn't help looking away. "O, look at me."

When the brunette refused to do so, Niylah got up on her knees softly grabbing her chin. "What that means, O, is that I can't live without you," she pauses for a moment, taking in the woman expressions, "but I also can't live without her."

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Clarke paced the hallway outside of Niylah's room, trying to decide if she should knock. 'What would I say?' She thought. 'She probably doesn't even want to talk to me.' Lost in her thoughts, she didn't notice the body turning the corner and collided with the figure. "Shit! I'm so sorry, Indra, I wasn't paying attention."

Mumbling something in trekru, she brushes herself off. "If you are looking for Niylah, the Commander requested her presence. She's not here." She stated before taking her leave.

Clarkes face went pale for a moment, then moments later rage started to build up. "She's with Octavia? Octavia requested to see her, after telling me to give her time?" Clarke was furious.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"So, what does this mean for us? For all of us?" Octavia finally asked, not sure she really wanted to hear the answer. Niylah sighed a long breathy sigh as she searched long and hard for the words she wanted to use. Octavia and Clarke were polar opposites, and yet still the same when it came to loving her. Was she being selfish? How would someone handle this situation? When the person you loved was gone for so long and then suddenly shows back up, and during that time you fell in love with another. Am I doing this wrong? I don't know, but what I do know is that, I can't imagine not having either of them, and maybe that is selfish. People do open relationships all the time, but all party's have to be willing. What if they are not willing though? Will I have to let them go, and deal with seeing them every day? I don't think I could deal with that kind of torture.

Octavia could sense the distress in Niylah as the blonde continued to think. She reached over taking her hands. "Listen, Whatev-"

"You can't just walk in there, Clarke!" Octavia could hear Nathan on the other side of the door just seconds before Clarke came barging in, immediately setting eyes on the two sitting on the ground holding hands.

Clarke stared in disbelief. "So you've made your choice, huh?" she spat. Glaring at the two.

"Watch your tone, Clarke." Octavia warned as the two stood. "This isn't what it looks like."

Turning her gaze to Niylah, "What exactly is it supposed to look like?" she inquired, clenching her fists to try and keep calm.

"She was telling me to forgive you, Clarke. She was helping me see reason behind what happened today." Niylah spoke, taking a few steps forward. Clarke stepped back.

"And by helping you, you needed to be on the floor holding hands? That's not suspicious." Clarke challenged "One day back, Niy. One day. We made love for fucksake! Did that not mean anything to you?" Clarke was bordering tears now.

"Of course it did, Clarke, more than anything. You don't understand how hard this is for me! I thought you were dead! Dead! And now you're back, and I am so grateful for that. Believe me I am." Niylah was shaking with emotions again, anger, sadness, confusion. "I Love you Clarke, so much… but I love her too. I can't choose between you two. I need you both in my life."

And there it was, the bombshell, though it was not what she was expecting. Clarke looked at Octavia to gauge her response, but she seemed accustomed already. Of course she told her this already. She can't choose? I can't share her. I won't. "I need all of you, Niy, and if you can't give me that then this isn't going to work."

"Clarke, please." Niylah begged, stepping even closer to the blonde. "Don't do this. Don't make me do this."

Clarke chuckled coldly, "I guess you win." She said looking at Octavia.

"She's not a prize to be won, Clarke. Get your head out of your ass!" O spat back.

"How are you even ok with this, O? She wants to split the relationships like a custody battle. What? I would get her every Monday Wednesday and Friday? You every other? This is ridiculo-" Just then a strong sting spread across her cheek stopping her rant and making her stumble a bit. Regaining herself she sees Niylah shaking her hand.

"Shut up and listen! That is not what I'm asking for, I would never ask to split time with you two. I want to spend every second with you both!" she growled, getting worked up. Taking a step back she composes herself. "I know this is hard to understand, and I would understand if you aren't comfortable with-it Clarke, but it's how I feel. I can't just shut my feelings off for the both of you. I'm sorry. Now, I'm fucking exhausted. I'm going to bed." Turning to Octavia she bids her goodnight with a kiss on the cheek. As she walks towards the door, she stops by Clarke who is still in shock from the slap. "I'm sorry I slapped you… that hard." And kisses her on the cheek as well, leaving the two.

 ** _'_** _ **Don't Give Up On Me by Andy Grammer'**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Here's the next installment, I'm very pleased with this chapter. It has a bit of a sad ending, but I think you all will be ok. ;)** **I hope you all enjoy!**

Clarke drew in a deep breath. She knew what she was about to do was reckless and she would hear about it later, but right now she didn't care. She wanted that danger. She needed to feel something other than the feeling of her heart breaking. Anything. So, with one last reassurance to herself she pushed the steel door open. Darkness fell upon her as she stepped through the threshold. She couldn't be happier that Niylah was a heavy sleeper right now as she continued to creep into the room, careful of her footing. Only a small amount of light seeped in from the hall giving Clarke just enough awareness of where everything was. To her left she could make out the silhouette of Niylah on the bed curled up into a ball. If Clarke hadn't known better, she'd guess Niylah had cried herself to sleep and that notion alone made her heart wrench. The urge to lie down next to her and pull her into her arms became so strong, but Clarke was on a mission.

Walking a little further into the room, she finally spotted what she came looking for; Niylah's bow and quiver. As she stood up, she came face to face with her drawling's. Lexa's eyes bore into Clarke's. "Am I doing the right thing, Lex?" she whispered, gentle brushing her fingers across her face. Next to it was one of Niylah sitting on a stump watching the sunset. Clarke closed her eyes, remembering that moment. **_'The birds were chirping, readying themselves for the night. Niylah was always mesmerized by the sunset especially in the autumn glow. Clarke was mesmerized by Niylah in that moment, the way the sun bounced of her skin. Outlining every feature. She wanted that moment to last forever, so she grabbed her charcoal and paper, capturing every little detail she could. Niylah caught her of course, but Clarke didn't care, and neither did Niylah if she was being honest. That was the first time they ever made love. Clarke can still remember it like it was yesterday. Niylah was so shy and sweet then, letting Clarke take the lead. That was the start of something she thought she would never find again. They made love several more times that night before finally heading back.'_**

A couple of tears escape Clarke's eyes. She wants so badly to go back to that time, but she knows that's unrealistic. She grabs the drawing, placing it in her bag before turning towards the bed. Niylah's still fast asleep. She walks to her side, and for a moment wants to stay, but her heart won't let her. Not just yet. So instead she leans down and places a soft kiss to Niylah's temple before leaving the room.

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The evening air felt nice on Clarke's skin, and the moon shined bright. It seemed more peaceful at night, but Clarke knew that even more dangers lurked in the darkness than when the sun was high. She needed to be careful. Ensuring she had everything she needed in her pack once more, Clarke began to head east. She would find this Klein guy and bring him home, no matter the cost.

Halfway there she heard movement around her. Grabbing the bow and an arrow, she prepared herself. The noise seemed to be getting closer by the second, Clarke readied her arm. Seconds later a small rabbit hopped out of the bushes, it stared at Clarke for a moment before hopping of into the darkness again.

Clarke released her pull, sighing to herself. "Seriously? Damn ra-"

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Octavia had only been awake fifteen minuets when Niylah and Indra came barging into her quarters, well more like Niylah doing the barging. Indra wanted to take the more traditional approach when entering someone's personal quarters.

"She's gone, O." Niylah stated, panic clear in her voice. Octavia turned to greet the two, confusion on her face. Indra gave her Commander an apologetic look for the sudden intrusion.

"Who? Who's gone, Niy?" she calmly asked. She was in the process of preparing herself for the morning. Sleep was still evident in her eyes, as she studied the blonde.

"Clarke! My bow and quiver are missing." Niylah started to pace, this conversation was not moving fast enough for her. She knew Clarke was out there on her own again, and more than likely left in the night. She could be out there hurt somewhere, or worse. Niylah didn't want to think of that, but she couldn't control her thoughts.

"Hold on, Niy. Slow down." Octavia said approaching the blonde. She took her by the hands, halting the woman's movements. "Breathe for a moment. How do you know it was her? You could have just misplaced your bow."

"She took the drawling she did of me." She whispered. "It's her, O. I know it." A small tear escaped, slowly descending down her cheek.

Octavia reached up to wipe it away, releasing a soft sigh process. She then turned to Indra who was idly standing by the door. "Have Nathan and his men search the entire bunker for Clarke, just in case, and you and I will start talking about where she might have gone. Where did you guys take shel-"

Indra cleared her throat, "Sorry Commander, but we already have. Twice."

Octavia sighed again, clear frustration in her features. "Ok, thank you Indra. Will you give us a moment?" Indra nodded before leaving.

Octavia walked away from the blonde as soon as the door closed. She couldn't understand why Clarke of all people would do this. Out of frustration, she started slinging everything off her bed side table. Metal and plastic flew across the floor. She then threw a quick jab at the wall, immediately regretting it. Niylah quickly came to her side, grabbing her bruised hand. "Stop it, O, we both can't lose it now."

"She's so stupid, Niy. Why would she do this? That isn't like her at all." Octavia claimed, angrily shaking her head. "Do you think she left because of-"

"We can't sit here and speculate. We need to make a plan, for both her and Klein." Niylah said, placing a gentle kiss against her knuckles. Then it clicked. "Wait, maybe she's going after him."

"Klein? I mean, that's possible, Niy, but we still need to cover every possibility."

"Think about it, why else would she take my bow and quiver? If she was going to leave, she would have just left don't you think?" Niylah was getting herself worked up again, but in the hopeful kind of way.

"What if she was just trying to get a rise out of you?"

"Then she would have just taken the picture." Niylah said, staring off as memories of that night began to flood her mind. Octavia could sense the sudden disconnect.

Lifting her chin, she whispered, "Hey, were going to find her, and she's going to be alright. Octavia took this moment to kiss the blonde. It was sweet and slow. Filled with passion, yet only lasted for a moment. "I love you, Niylah."

"I love you too, Okteivia."

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"Oh.. Fuck, my head." Clarke winced as she touched the gash across her temple. She must have been out for some time, because the early light was beginning to fill the sky. She remembers stepping on a small rock, but everything is fuzzy after that. Clarke gathers her things and begins to stand, only to fall back down crying out in pain. Her ankle is sprained as well.

"Shit. Could things get any better?" She groaned in a sarcastic tone, attempting to stand once more. Carefully she put weight onto her ankle, hissing at the pain that radiated up her leg. She still had a lot of ground to cover, and a lot of time to make up for. She needed to keep moving.

An agonizingly long hour later Clarke finally reached her destination. The cave was just across the river, hidden by lush vegetation. Clarke hoped that Klein was able to actually find the cave. Not wanting to waste any more time, she continued on her way. Luckily the river was low this time of year, fashioning it more of a creek rather than a river. The cool water helped ease the pain in Clarkes ankle as she made her way across.

Upon reaching the cave, she paused to listen, but no sounds were heard. Clarke continued into the cave cautiously, sticking to the walls as she made her way further in. "Klein?" she whispered. "Klein? Are you in here?" she spoke again still sliding along the wall. "It's me, Clarke Griffin, we spoke on the radio."

Still nothing.

Clarke stopped suddenly. Laying on the ground was a radio, smashed. A small amount of blood covered the area around it.

"Shit." Clarke breathed. **_'He might still be alive.'_** She thought, slowly backing out of the cave. She knew there was a settlement not far from here. **_'He has to be there. I just hope I get there in time."_**

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"Alright everyone, listen up, today we will not only be looking for Klein, but also Clarke. She left at some point in the night. We're not entirely sure where she would have gone, but we think she might have left to go find Klein herself." Octavia said. Murmurs and whispers began to fill the room. "Yes, I know. It is very foolish of her to do so, if in fact that is what she is doing. Now please keep your comments to yourself." She stated, waiting for the noise died down to continue. "We will be heading east to the cave Clarke mentioned. If Clarke is not there, Niylah knows of a place she may have gone instead, so we will check there too if we have too. Do I make myself clear?"

"What if Klein is not there either? Are we still going to try and find him if he's not?" One of the guards asked.

"Maybe she doesn't want to be found, why else would she leave?" Another asked.

Octavia glance at Niylah before answering the two, "We will still search for him, yes, and I know Clarke. She wouldn't just abandon us, especially when she just got back to us."

"How can you be so sure? For all we know she may be de-"

"Enough! This discussion is over, we have our mission. Now gather your gear, and be ready to leave in ten minutes." Octavia ordered. Everyone nodded their head, and gave their 'Yes Commander's before filing out of the room. Octavia sighed, rubbing her face. She was worried she was sending her people out on a suicide mission.

"Hey." Niylah spoke, gently grabbing the brunette's wrists. "Everything's going to be ok."

Octavia shot her head in the blonde's direction, "How can you be sure? We know nothing of this earth now. Mutated dogs, and GIANT creatures roam this planet. How can you be so sure that everything will be ok?" she spat.

Niylah was caught of guard by O's words, but she knew the other woman didn't mean any disrespect. She was just worried about her people. "You're right, I'm sorry. I was just trying to comfort you. You always get yourself so worked up in situations like this."

"I'm sorry, Niy. I'm just scared this is going to be a suicide mission." Octavia admitted.

"It won't be." Niylah stated. She too was having doubts, but she couldn't let that show for O's sake. She needed to be strong for her right now.

"I hope you're right, Niy. I hope you are right."

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Clarke reached the settlement, making sure to sick to the trees and bushes. The area was very lively with men and women meandering about, tending to their daily duties. Clarke could see several lookouts stationed at various locations along the perimeter. She needed to find their weak point. They always had a weak point, but in order to do so, Clarke would have to wait until dark. There was no way she could sneak in unnoticed during the light hours. Once, the darkness ascends she will be able to make her way in and hopefully make it to Klein in time.

Looking to the sun, Clarke guessed she had about thirteen hours still until sunset. Sighing, she decides she would use this time to make a splint for her ankle and then try and find that weakness she could then penetrate later.

After gather two sticks, Clarke grabbed some wild vine from the trees, and began to wrap her ankle. Wincing every so often. Feeling pleased with her splint, Clarke began to stand to see if the vine would hold against her weight, but was suddenly struck in the back of the head. Knocking her out cold.

She never once saw the guard patrolling the outer perimeter.

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"Alright everyone, there's the cave Clarke was talking about. Nathan, you take Kalum, Greg, and Harper, and take the left side. Everyone else with me. Understood?" Everyone nodded their head, as Octavia finished.

"On my go," She said, taking a moment to survey the area one last time before giving the go. They cautiously approached the entrance, lining up side by side against the outer wall. Octavia was in front, Nathan on the other side, watching Octavia, waiting for their next move.

O peered into the darkness, waiting for eyes to adjust. The cave didn't seem to be that big, maybe twenty-thirty feet deep. **_'Definitely a good place to hide out, especially with all this vegetation surrounding the area.'_** She thought. Raising her hand, Octavia gave the signal to move forward, both teams slowly moving in along the wall. Half way in O signaled everyone to halt.

"Is that Klein's radio?" she whispered to Niylah, pointing to the object on the cave floor. Niylah had to squint really hard to see it, the cave only getting darker the further you go in.

"It has to be, I don't think Clarke took one. Do you think Clarke made it here already and we somehow missed them?" Niylah questioned, glancing around the rest of the cave for more possible clues, or evidence.

"What are we doing?" Nathan half yelled.

Octavia fixed him with a glare, "Quite." She ordered.

As Niylah was scanning the cave, she landed on a silhouette further back lying down on the ground. She couldn't quite make out the features, but to her it looked like a body. She tapped Octavia on the shoulder, "O, look." She pointed in the direction of the figure. "Do you think?"

"I don't know. I can't make out their features." Turning to Nathan, and his team she quietly ordered them to slowly move forward, guns ready just in case. Same for her team.

Octavia then started to move forward, watching the silhouette as they inched closer. As they got closer, Octavia started to see what she could only describe as a lump of melted and fried fur.

"The fuck is that?" Greg asked, looking at Octavia for an answer.

Octavia shook her head, raising her hand to signal for them to fall back. Clarke and Klein were clearly not here. The group began to retreat, all but Greg, who decided to investigate the lump of fur. "What the hell are you?" he questioned, taking his gun and poking the it with the tip. It lay still, so Greg poked it again.

This time it began to move. Greg took a step back, readying his weapon as the creature continued to shift around. Meanwhile, the group was almost to the entrance, when Kalum notice Greg's absence. "Where's Greg?" he questioned in a panicked tone. Turning back towards the dark cave. "Greg?" he shouted.

"Quiet!" Octavia warned, stepping towards the guard. "Nathan, you're supposed to watch your team!" she spat, glaring at the boy. "We'll talk about this later. Let's go!" she finished, looking around at everyone.

"Help! Someone please! Ahh, get off me!" screams, and yelling were heard further in the cave.

"Greg!" Kalum cried, taking off into the darkness.

"Kalum, no! Damn it, Stop! That's a fucking order!" Nathan yelled, taking off after him, the whole group in tow. As they reached the end, where they last were, they saw this grotesque beast, the same beast they saw lying on the floor earlier, slamming Greg into the ground repeatedly. Its claws puncturing deep into his body.

"Greg! No…" Kalum cried, watching in horror as the beast brutally attacked Greg. Raising his gun, he began unloading his clip into the beast, deterring his actions. The beast let go of Greg and turned his attention towards Kalum.

"Everyone fire!" Octavia ordered, as she raised her weapon, she too unloading her clip into the beast. The monster didn't know what to do, each hit it cried out in pain stumbling backwards.

Finally, after two minutes, and two clip reloads, the monster went down, releasing one last cry as it fell on its back. Showing off its under belly. Its features resembled a bear of some sort.

"Greg." Octavia looked where Greg was and saw Kalum by his side, hold him gently. "Why? You're so stupid. Why would you do this?" Kalum croaked, obvious tears threatening to escape. Their affair with each other had been a secret. No one knew, until now. Now, when Kalum was losing the person he cared of, and possibly loved.

"I.. I'm.. I'm sorry, Kal. I.. I Just" Kalum shushed him. "It's ok. Don't talk, babe." He sniffed. Tears beginning to fall. Octavia walked up and knelt beside him. She took the sight in, Greg was covered in blood, that was seeping out of every puncture wound he had. His chest was flattened, the beast must have broken all of his ribs, and by the look of it, Greg was having a hard time breathing. Kalum was stroking Greg's face gently, saying things Octavia couldn't quiet make out, but that was ok, she didn't want to intrude that much. She just wanted to be here for him, that's part of her role as the Commander after all.

They stay there like that for what feels like a life time, but in reality, is only two minutes. "May we meet again." Kalum whispers, loud enough to catch Octavia's attention. "May we meet again." She speaks, gently placing a hand on his cheek. They were wet from all the tears, "I'm so sorry, Kalum." She whispers, meeting his eyes. They were filled with sadness and a little anger.

"Let's just go bury him." He said dryly, standing and leaving. He needed a minute to collect himself.

Octavia sighed to herself, **_'I knew this was a suicide mission.'_**

 _ **'The Night We Met by Lord Huron' - Featured in 13 Reasons Why**_


End file.
